According to Bowen’s theory, the family is an emotionally interrelated system. A change in one part of the family leads to a subsequent change in all other parts of the family system (Alzhoubi, 2018). In this theory, Bowen conceptualizes that despite the differences in personalities within the family, essential relationships are defined by understanding the emotional relationship among individuals. This is because emotional cohesiveness can easily lead to cohesion. This write-up explores the Bowen approach for therapy.

Eight Major concepts of the Bowen’s Approach

1. Triangulation

Triangulation can be defined as the mode of intrapersonal functioning that occurs when anxiety builds up between two people (Kim-Appel & Appel, 2015).  This approach involves introducing a third party in a conflict that involves two people. The external agent introduce helps overcome the already existing dysfunction between two conflicting parties. The third person may choose to offered support to both or one of the parties involved in the family tension. If the help offered goes to one party, it can easily cause much more harm than good, even if actions were done with the best intentions. Due to my father’s alcoholism there where they fought a lot. The verbal fights often led to my mum seeking interventions from dad’s friends. Joshua, dad’s best friend, was always keen to give a listening year to both sides and provide a way forward. Although he did not take anyone’s side, the triangulation concept did not work. Eventually, my parents separated.

• Differentiation of Self

Differentiation of self occurs when individuals can separate their thoughts and feelings from other people’s thoughts and emotions (Kaplan et al., 2014). Many conflicts can arise from people not being able to function independently from a system they exist in. In an optimal healthy family environment, individuals can express their opinions without feeling belittled. Individuals are less likely to be overwhelmed by their emotions to adapt mechanisms such as self-isolation.

I have been able to witness how Differentiation of self can manifest in a dysfunctional family. With all the verbal violence that was directed towards mum by dad, it could have been much easy to hate my dad and take sides on the conflict that was going on. My parent’s marriage has seen a lot of separation for months on end. During this period, my depressive episodes started and laced with some of the intense OCD episodes (Elieson & Rubin, 2001). I often battled the idea that I would never be happy. I did not enjoy a stable family emotionally. How I could I hope for a better future from this. Before I became aware of emotional health, I buried myself deep in my emotions. My only role in the family was to protect my sister. My brother took the Differentiation of self a notch higher. He was always angry with me. A minor issue could quickly tick him off. It led to us being much more separated as a family. I loved my dad, but I could not talk to him. My sister was too young, and the only thing I could do for her protected her from all the arguments going on in the house.

• The nuclear family emotional system

According to Bowen, there are four sources of stress within a nuclear setup. The first kind of conflict is the caregiver conflict, also known as the marital conflict. The second, third, and fourth types of conflict involve impairment of one caregiver, impairment of one or more children, and emotional distancing (Alzhoubi, 2018). High emotional tensions within a family can quickly influence caregiver conflict, dysfunction of caregiving ability, impairments of children’s emotions, and emotional distancing.

Just a year ago, my mother confessed that she had to check herself into the institution to deal with anxiety and depression some of the moments she left. Her brother has also struggled with a condition, and I have seen it on my dad too. I shared with her about my OCD (which I did not fully understand at the time), and with the help of a doctor, I got help and am now able to cope positively. My sister seems fine though her lack of detachment from the whole family conflict sometimes raises worry.

d. Family Projection Process

Once conflict has arisen within a family structure, its effect can easily be projected to other family members and affect the most vulnerable, i.e., the children (Kim-Appel & Appel, 2015). For instance, if caregivers have grown distant in their relationship, the rejected partner could deal with rejection by caring for the children. It may also be manifested in terms of the projection of frustration upon the children.

My parents’ conflict did not affect their ability to provide for us. However, each parent unconsciously wanted us to take a side on who was the better parent. When he was not drunk and mum was away, my father would allude to the fact that he only drank to drown away his sorrows caused by my mother. On the other hand, we all heard him sometimes shouting at our mother in the bedroom. Therefore, it was much easier to see why our mother left when she could not keep up with his episodes. One of the surprising things that he went into full-blown parenthood when mum left. He would take care of laundry, dishes, and cleaning the house when mum was away and we were away in school. In the privacy of his room, he would read my mother’s books and bible. As a child, such actions made me believe he would change, only to relapse immediately after my mom returned.

• A multi-generation transmission process

Conflict and Differentiation of self can be easily transmitted from one generation to another. This concept in Bowen’s theory assumes that parental styles of caregivers are directly influenced by how they were brought up and differentiated as children (Kim-Appel & Appel, 2015).Even though my dad verbally abused my mother, and there was one incident of physical abuse, she endured much. Her mother told her that she had to persevere. Men got better with time. Being a Christian, she felt she was falling short every time she was separated from the family. Her behavior was similar to that of aunt Rose who only left her marriage after her husband wielded a knife and threatened to kill him. Except for Joshua, who is happily married and a model Christian, I would say my dad is better off than his siblings.

f. Emotional Cut-off

In coping with conflicts within the family system, individuals can quickly adapt an avoidance technique (Alzhoubi, 2018). This involves separation and cutting ties from the family. The emotional cut-off can be expressed in two forms within a family system, such as emotional and geographical distance.

My elder brother was always a silent person inside. I knew he held a lot of resentment for dad. When he got into college, he cut us off completely. He would never answer our calls or messages. It was only up to recently when he started making contact with my mother. However, he does not want anything to do with my dad. In addition, he does not want anything to do with our relatives from the paternal side. He is married now with one kid. None of us has ever set eyes on either wife or child except on social media.

g. Sibling Position

This concept stipulates that the personality traits of siblings are influenced by the position they take within a family (Alzhoubi, 2018). This concept comes from witnessing individuals occupying similar positions within the family having similar characteristics across different families. A good example is; firstborns are always expected to have that leadership trait as most often they grow up being in charge of the younger siblings in different capacities.

The sibling position concept does not directly apply to our family. I would cite an example of my elder Brian, who distanced himself from our family and wanted nothing to do with us until much later. There has not been a role played by the eldest, my dad, on my father’s side. The youngest was the only one who shaped his life and got a decent degree out of University in accounting. The same applies to my mother’s side of the family.

h. Societal Emotion Process

The external community that encases a family system may actively influence a personal emotion response process (Kim-Appel & Appel, 2015). Bowen stipulates that living in a distressed community can easily result in many families who are undifferentiated emotionally. This can be easily seen in crime patterns within the community and diet patterns and struggles within the community.

The societal emotional process affected my emotions in trying to process what was going on within my family. My best friend Eli was living with his mum and younger sister Shelly after their dad left. Substance abuse was a normal thing even among teenagers. It was a miracle that I was not sacked in the same stream even though my father was an alcoholic, his brother in prison for drugs, and her mum equally an alcoholic. In our area, we also experience disturbing teen suicide rates, and I have learned that a lot of it is caused by depression and lack of meaning in life. I have never been suicidal. However, I have reached points where I failed to understand what meaning I should derive in life.

Specific Theme

A definite reoccurring theme within the family tree has affected me directly in the mental health and domestic violence due to substance abuse. According to (Kim-Appel & Appel, 2015), mental health is directly influenced by one ability to differentiate self from all that is going on within the family setup. The verbal abuse directed to my mum affected me as I grew up, and this was made by the long months that we stayed with dad while mum was away. I did not have a cheerful family where I could know that not all marriages were this tumultuous. I failed to detach myself from the process and, as a result, plunge myself into episodes of depression. My OCD got worse over the years, with me developing so many intrusive thoughts. In one episode, I had to convince myself that my dad would kill my mum, and I would have to walk in on her body. It was such an evil thought and not far-fetched yet still horrific because my dad had not made it a habit to be violent towards my mother. The substance abuse did not affect my siblings. However, my dad is an alcoholic, just like his mum. His brother also was an addict and engaged in the trade to keep himself supplied with the substance. I would say my depression pattern followed that of my mother. She grew up knowing violence and was confined to react due to her religious beliefs. With the lack of satisfaction, sadness grew then he ended up battling depression. Similar depression patterns occurred to me.

Intervention

The intervention that I would recommend for nuclear families is family therapy. According to (Kim-Appel & Appel, 2015), helping families develop one another is an effective way of developing positive emotional interdependence within the family. In helping families develop one another, a Bowenian counselor can teach families about emotional systems and encourage family members to talk about their actions without adapting a defensive mechanism (Weir et al., 2013).

In my case, my mum got in touch with a counselor who had prompted her to open up to us about her depression. When we finally talked about it, she was able to own up for having abandon every time they conflicted with dad. Since we separated, I believe with time, and we can bridge the gap with Brian, our eldest, and even help dad with his alcohol addiction. If family therapy is called, I know my brother will be able to open up why he had bottled up his emotions and kept his distance.

Conclusion

The Bowenean family model gives a comprehensive way in which a psychiatrist can try to diagnose mental health issues and drug abuse within the family. First, it allows one to examine himself as an individual. Second, it allows one to look at his experience in the context of the immediate family. Third, it allows one to look at family patterns that may reoccur. Lastly, the avenue for retrospection allows one to break the reoccurring cycles with the help of professionals. If implemented the approach will be an effective means of fostering emotionally healthy families. It will also give family members to own up to their mistakes and load of their chance. This in turn gives room for positive coping plus reduced chances of addiction and severe health issues.

References

Alzoubi, N. A. (2018). Nuclear Family Emotional System and Family Projection Process in Tennessee Williams’s Period of Adjustment. American Studies Journal, 64.

Elieson, M. V., & Rubin, L. J. (2001). Differentiation of self and major depressive disorders: A test of Bowen theory among clinical, traditional, and Internet groups. Family therapy, 28(3), 125.

Kaplan, S. G., Arnold, E. M., Irby, M. B., Boles, K. A., & Skelton, J. A. (2014). Family Systems Theory and Obesity Treatment: Applications for Clinicians. Infant, child & adolescent nutrition, 6(1), 24–29. https://doi.org/10.1177/1941406413516001

Kim-Appel, D., & Appel, J. K. (2015). Bowenian family systems theory: Approaches and applications. In D. Capuzzi & M. D. Stauffer (Eds.), Foundations of couples, marriage, and family counseling (pp. 185–213). John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Weir, K. N., Lee, S., Canosa, P., Rodrigues, N., McWilliams, M., & Parker, L. (2013). Whole family theraplay: Integrating family systems theory and therapy to treat adoptive families. Adoption Quarterly, 16(3-4), 175-200.